Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 16

Some people are going to make you mad because of how wrong they are - wrong about the facts, wrong about how to handle a situation, wrong about what is the right thing to do. Don't ignore this person as all your instincts tell you to do, but watch them closely and identify the specific things you don't like. Us that individual and their faults to learn about the person you don't want to be. Its easy to learn from the people you love, but harder - yet very beneficial - to learn from the people you despise.

Playing defense is hard. Its very hard. It is tiring and painful and very hard. If you want to play good D, you have to be more than smart, you must exert yourself - push yourself physically to the limit. That's just the way it is. Never think you are good enough at O that you can get by without balls to the wall D.

You will learn the same lesson many many times through your life. Try not to get mad at yourself for not getting it the first time.

No matter what, you will always look back and wish you partied more.

You must flirt with Exhaustion and Fatigue in your workouts so that when they start a conversation with you on the field, you know what to do.

You never know where your joy is going to come from. Sometimes it surprises you. Try to have multiple ways for happiness to find you - some will never pay out, but you will be able to forget those if you are cashing in on others.

You got to battle with the army that you have, not the army you wish you had.

Don't be surprised by your emotions. When you cry, you cry. When you yell, you yell. When you hate, you hate. When you love, you love. Let them be - experience them for what they are. Don't measure them against what you think they should be.

You are a guy. You will probably have a hard time expressing how you feel. On average, your life will be a constant struggle to be more honest with the people around you and yourself. More honesty, less white lies.

Breaking stuff is one of the most satisfying actions you can participate in. Especially so when drunk. Try to do this with things that aren't very valuable.

Say that you are sorry. Not "I'm sorry that this happened to you". Just "I'm sorry." The words don't really matter, so don't get hung up on their meaning or what you commit to by saying them.

You are going to feel very very lost sometimes. That sucks, I'm sorry. Just try to think about all the times you have felt very at home. They tend to balance out.

While making fun of something or someone seems like an easy joke or an easy way to fit in, being positive and supportive is what will make other people respect you and make you feel good about your actions. Take the high road.

People need to learn their own lessons. The best you can do with advice is to make someone think about a subject in a way they haven't before. No matter your experiences, no matter how intense they were, no matter how good a story teller/teacher/coach you are, and no matter how convinced they look while listening, you cannot make up someone's mind about anything with your words.

Its ok to be a different person day to day, year to year. The charge of "Hypocrite" and "FlipFlopper" ain't so bad; if it means that you are able to change what you think based on new experiences and changing situations, then they are complements.

Be a good teammate. Be a good friend. Be a good listener. Be a good host. You will be remembered for the things you did for others, not the things you did for yourself.

Things aren't just what they are. They also are what others take them to be. Picaso's art ain't that special by itself, but the cuture, the fandom, the theory, the story IS unique and worth respect and appreciation.

Don't let anyone tell you that you are not an artist because you are not paid for your art. The idea of a "professional" artist prevents "regular" people from expressing themselfs or making beautiful things. What a shame.

The first step to healing is admitting to yourself that you are injured.

Its ok to want what you want, to feel what you feel, to be who you are.

Remember it. Write it down. One of the greatest joys of all humanhood is looking back fondly.


tim said...

"If you want to play good D, you have to be more than smart, you must exert yourself - push yourself physically to the limit."

Your entire statement about defense is good advice, however I would put it the other way around. I would say if you want to play good D you have to do more than push yourself to the athletic limit. You have to be smart. I would take an average athlete who is a smart defender over an incredible athlete who is not smart with defensive positioning, anticipation, etc. Lastly, I'd add that at the foundation of 95% of d's is desire. My 2¢

Hh said...

"You must flirt with Exhaustion and Fatigue in your workouts so that when they start a conversation with you on the field, you know what to do."

I wrote this line! Nice.

Stephen Hubbard said...

Hector: Thanks for this one. Thinking about those words has gotten me through many a track workout.

Tim: Both the physical and the mental are important; and as you said, desire is always required. But I phrase it here as I do because the stressing of the physical side is what I needed when I was 16 and I didn't really figure it out until Junior year. I thought I was so smart and so cunning and I read the game so whell (which I am really not and dont haha) - I watch a lot of tape and think about the game a lot - that I didn't see my physical weaknesses as big problems.

I guess Hector's quote is on my list for the same reason. I needed someone to say to the entitled kid that I was:

" It don't matter how good your form is in the weight room, it don't matter that you eat healthy - pain is required in training and in the game so deal with it."